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Exquisitely Baked Satire

Saudi King Suddenly Tries To Buy Facebook



Filed under : Oven Fresh

(freshrant.com) The normally very private founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, has confirmed earlier press reports that Saudi King Abdullah Bin Abdul-Aziz is attempting to become the sole owner of Facebook.

Zuckerberg released a rare public statement that the king began poking him this past week and was unrelenting until Zuckerberg finally blocked his account.

“I mean it was getting ridiculous.  He listed the two of us as being ‘in a relationship’ and inboxed me with threats that if I didn’t let him buy the company he would ‘chop off the fingers that created the evil two-faced vice of the infidels.'”

Abdullah’s latest posts on Zuckerberg’s wall:

“Dude, U know how crazy I get when I don’t get my way.  That whole thingy about me getting out the sword…don’t be so serious, bruh!  Aight?!   Now Chop Chop. (jking!)”

“Why won’t u return my calls?!?!? ”

“I just tagged you on an hysterical video link of a Saudi woman trying to drive.  LMAO!”

“Markster!  I so want 2 make U my bEyAtcH!  again jkg! lol”

“Hit me don’t quite me! 4EAE!!!!!”

“holla!!!”

“A frenemy is not your enemy!!!”

“eating falafel alone in palace…  tear…”

When a member of Abdullah’s inner circle was asked how much the king was offering Zuckerberg for Facebook, the king reportedly raised his right pinky finger to the corner of his lips and announced, “One million dollars.”

This just in:  The Tehran Times reports Abdullah offering Zuckerberg $150 billion and a time share on Umm Lajj Beach.

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