(Camp David) In response to a growing chorus of “birthers” who believe Barack Obama was not born in the U.S., the president held a quiet naturalization ceremony over the Labor Day weekend at Camp David attended by family and a few close aides.
The brief ceremony was led by the president, a constitutional scholar and former law professor, asking himself, and then answering, a few questions about U.S. history and government. The event concluded with the president presenting himself with a small U.S. flag, a booklet containing a copy of the U.S. constitution followed by the Commander-In-Chief respectfully listening to a pre-recorded video message of welcome to newly naturalized citizens delivered by himself.
Obama’s naturalization ceremony was immediately followed by his being baptized by his former pastor, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, in a creek on the Camp David property. When later questioned why President Obama had asked his controversial former pastor to perform the baptism, an aide responded, “Obama thought it better to have a public that hates him for being a Christian, which he is, than a public that hates him for being a Muslim, which he isn’t. Our thinking was that bringing in Reverend Wright would make a strong statement by jogging the public’s memory over which of Obama’s religious practices the public should be hating on.”
To be on the “safe side”, Michelle Obama, Obama’s mother-in-law, Marian Robinson, and the Obamas’ two children, Malia and Sascha, also took an oath to become naturalized citizens and were also “re-baptized” as Christians “for good measure.”
The president concluded the ceremonies at a podium placed in center of the Camp David tennis courts to renounce to no one in particular socialism, communism, Nazism, Stalinism, czarism, atheism, Al-Qaeda, the Taliban, Islam and Islamofacism and all rights of citizenship to Kenya, Indonesia, the Kingdom of Hawai’i and the House of Kamehameha. Obama then signed a paper verifying the act in the presence of a notary public.
Orly Taitz, one of the leaders of the birther movement, issued a statement later in the day claiming the notarized document Obama signed to be a forgery. Taitz posted a copy of another document on her website that she claimed stated Obama’s allegiance to “communistic witchcraft”. However, the document was later revealed to be a doctored copy of Ms. Taitz’s GED diploma.
Although other U.S. Presidents had fathers who were born on foreign soil, including James Buchanon, Andrew Johnson, and Chester A. Arthur, it is not clear why Obama has been so strongly attacked about the legitimacy of his citizenship.
Senator John McCain and Obama’s 2008 GOP presidential rival, who was born in the Panama Canal Zone, not the United States of America as stipulated by Article II of the U.S. Constitution, was reached for comment at his Sedona, Arizona ranch. His grumpy one sentence response was only, “I’m busy building the dang fence.”
Perhaps some research delving into our nation’s history might unravel some nit as to why an issue of citizenship affecting the legitimacy of the presidency would have been so vehemently raised for one candidate and so ignored for another.
The president concluded the late afternoon ceremonies stating there was no truth to a rumor that Michelle had canceled Christmas, asking everyone to just call him Barry.
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