freshrant

Exquisitely Baked Satire

GOP Hires Martha Stewart For “50 Shades of White” Diversity Program



(Special to Freshrant)  Code Named “50 Shades of White,” GOP Chairman, Reince Priebus has hired Martha Stewart to “expand the white to off-white color palette of the Republican Party” as part of the party’s commitment to diversity.

Here is a partial list of Stewart’s “Diversity of Palor,” which she also plans to market as part of her line of Martha Stewart’s Living paints at K-Mart.

John McCain Nasal Hair Gray

Mitch McConnell Neckfold Pimple

Linsey Graham Spring Spittle

John Barrasso Beige

Roy Blunt Denture Delight

Mike Crapo Vodka Tonic

Jeff Flake Flake

Dan Coats of Pale

Priebus congratulated newly sworn-in African-American Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina, “joining that other member of the Republican ‘colored’ caucus, House Speaker, John Boehner.”

 

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