Exquisitely Baked Satire

George W Bush Global Paint-By-Numbers Initiative Announced

(fresh from  Not to be outdone by President Bill Clinton’s Global Initiative addressing the world’s most pressing challenges, George W. Bush has announced a bold plan to teach the world how to paint dogs.

Arguably the world’s most famous dog portraitist excitedly discussed his plans to implement a pilot program to teach elementary school children in the war-torn Republic of the Congo how to paint Scottish terriers.

“You know, those youngsters might not never even seen a dog like Barney or Miss Beazley, but doggone it, now they’ll have the chance to hang their own paintings of them on walls in their own libraries.”

When asked if his idea had sprung from observing the success of the Clinton Global Initiative, the former president, who insists on being referred to as Maestro Bush, coldly snapped back, “I dunno why you press folks always gotta mix apples and oranges and turn it into Brown Betty, although that is my favorite pie. Heh heh heh.”

Lightening up a bit, Bush added, “No, this decision point came down to a global initiative to either a paint-by-numbers or a connect-the-dots kind of thing.  But I figured 8 years of trying to connect the dots was enough for me,”  the beret-clad presidential pooch painter laughed before excusing himself to the bathroom where he was working on a self-portrait while on the toilet.


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