Exquisitely Baked Satire

Why Rove Peed on Delaware’s Hottest Tea

(Wilmington)  As reaction to Delaware GOP’s comedic choice for the U.S. Senate began to sink in, so did the hysterical reaction.  Bill Kristol, editor of the conservative rag, The Weekly Standard, immediately informed the world just how low the Standard’s standards really are.  “I know Sarah Palin,  I respect Sarah Palin.  And with all due respect – Christine O’Donnell is no Sarah Palin.”

Way to refudiate.

But it was Chris Matthews who left his gaggle of pundits high and dry, wondering out loud of Karl Rove, “Why is he so angry at her for winning?”

“Rove’s a professional,” blabs one.   “Rove’s an analyst for FOX” drones another…blah…blah…hooey.

All the Hard Balls were left hanging, having missed the very clue to the mystery of the Rove Rage in the middle of Christine O’Donnell’s election night celebration.

What the professional pundit class missed was Russ Murphy of the 9/12 Delaware Patriots, taking hold of the podium mike to tell O’Donnell’s election night crowd about Karl Rove’s request for a private meeting in December 2009 with all the tea party groups who were supporting O’Donnell.

“He [Rove] tried to convince us how we needed to get behind the party.  And how we needed to get behind a candidate that was electable.  He said what I really want to tell you folks is how to work with a candidate and get things done.

And I said,  “Sir, with all due respect, no one is going to tell us how to take care of business.”

Not only was the mastermind behind the once touted permanent Republican majority told in no uncertain terms to butt out of the O’Donnell race, but, there, on election night, Murphy and his tea party coalition were going national revealing the Rove “We Ain’t Your Bitch” Ditch.

The double dip epic fail of last December’s Tea Party rejection of Rove’s noblesse oblige offer of GOP expertise, and now, his September public humiliation of said rejection and O’Donnell’s win, proved too much for the volcanic hubris of Bush’s Brain.

Thus flowed freely Rove’s Fox News rant listing all that was wrong about an O’Donnell candidacy.

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Palin responds by taunting Rove as a “Good ole boy” and says to, “Buck up.  Competition is really good.  I have nothing against Karl Rove, he’s the “expert” [said on camera with accompanying air quotes drawn with sarcastic mama grizzly claws.]

Palin went on to tell O’Reilly how O’Donnell should control her message, “Speak on FOX News.”  Surely that’s the best advice for any politician who wants to protect a long history of secrets and lies from zealous followers.

Now for a look back down memory lane with Ms. O’Donnell, starting with her anti-masturbation stance, that also included her belief that condoms cause AID’s.

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Here’s a clip on Bill Maher’s old Politically Incorrect show, with O’Donnell arguing that it would have been wrong to lie to Nazi’s in order to hide Jews in World War II.

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O’Donnell’s response for having said it would be wrong to lie to all those inquisitive Nazi’s:  “What I was doing then was not running for office, I was helping Bill Maher get ratings…I don’t see the relevance in this campaign because this campaign is about getting our country back on track.”

Surely O’Donnell was just trying to point out that being polite to the most left wing talk show host in the country was more important than lying to  save Jews from the Nazi Holocaust.

Getting back to another clip of Ms. O’Donnell’s views on masturbation and gays.  She is also caught on the radio being less than chaste saying she had won two out of three counties in the 2008 senatorial race against Joe Biden, when, um, no, she hadn’t.

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And then, in the last two weeks of the campaign, keeping it completely Christian and ever so classy, O’Donnell and her supporters began circulating completely unfounded gay rumors about her opponent, Mike Castle.  Accusing Castle of being “unmanly”, O’Donnell released a written statement telling Castle “this was not a bake off” and to get his “man pants on.”  Way to goad, Christina.

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Kristin Murray, a Republican who served two months as O’Donnell’s campaign manager in 2008, called the candidate a “complete fraud.”

“It just amounted to too much,” Murray said. “The reason she’s running is so she can pay her rent, pay her electricity bill.   If it was popular to be really liberal now, maybe she’d do that.”  O’Donnell’s only job for the past few years has been running for senate.

Besides her claim that she won two out of the state’s three counties in the 2008 race but lost all three, O’Donnell has been unfactual in other areas of her life.  Claiming to be a  graduate of Fairleigh Dickinson University,  O’Donnell received her degree two weeks before the primary and 17 years after attending the school.   But it could be said O’Donnell graduated with distinction from Fairleigh Dickinson, as the university sued her in 1994 for $4,000 in unpaid tuition.

O’Donnell’s mortgage company also sued her during her 2008 Senate run for having stopped payments on her home loan.  She finally sold the house to a former boyfriend, who was acting as her attorney for campaign.

O’Donnell’s abhorrence of facts continued with her denying having been sued by her mortgage company or that the house was ever scheduled for foreclosure.

Earlier this year the IRS filed a lien against O’Donnell for more than $11,000 in unpaid income taxes and fees, with income last year totaling $5,800.  O’Donnell “rents” a room in a home she calls her campaign office.

O’Donnell’s last known job was at the conservative Intercollegiate Studies Institute.  After being fired in 2004, she sued the institute for $6.95 million in damages for “mental anguish” complaining of gender discrimination.

O’Donnell’s claim stated she cried thorough the night 6 months after her firing.  She replayed over and over in her mind the humiliation of being replaced by a college graduate and being denied advancing to pursue her master’s degree studies.

Careful readers will detect yet again one or two more problems here.  O’Donnell, having made up her undergraduate degree, thus negating the possibility of being denied pursuit of a master’s degree.   O’Donnell dropped the case in 2008, claiming she lacked funds for a lawyer.

In a CNN interview following her primary victory, O’Donnell said she had been inspired by Hillary Clinton, saying, “Well, whenever a strong pioneering woman comes onto the scene there’s some backlash.”

Sort of like when O’Donnell went on C-Span back in 1996 calling for an investigation into the Clintons’ murder of their good friend and White House counsel, Vince Foster, who in the fact-based world had committed suicide.  O’Donnell’s relentless quest for any possible unfactual politically partisan possibility might be thought of as pioneering on her part.

Two days left to cool after his post-election rant, a more repentant Karl Rove tried to walk it back (hard as is for a snake to walk in any direction.)  In the following clip, Rove shamelessly claims his blistering attack on O’Donnell was actually “an endorsement.”

A Turd Blossom by any other name would be just deceit.

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Could not resist this Christine O’Donnell gem from Bill O’Reilly’s November 16, 2007 program, since she is now running from her anti-masturbation stance and other comments made “as a young woman in my twenties”.  What of this then, Christine, from a mere three years ago?

“American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.”

Mickey…  Mighty…  Pass the cheese tray and bring on the brainy rat dames!

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