freshrant

Exquisitely Baked Satire

Saudi King Suddenly Tries To Buy Facebook



Filed under : Oven Favorites

(freshrant.com) The normally very private founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, has confirmed earlier press reports that Saudi King Abdullah Bin Abdul-Aziz is attempting to become the sole owner of Facebook.

Zuckerberg released a rare public statement that the king began poking him this past week and was unrelenting until Zuckerberg finally blocked his account.

“I mean it was getting ridiculous.  He listed the two of us as being ‘in a relationship’ and inboxed me with threats that if I didn’t let him buy the company he would ‘chop off the fingers that created the evil two-faced vice of the infidels.’”

Abdullah’s latest posts on Zuckerberg’s wall:

“Dude, U know how crazy I get when I don’t get my way.  That whole thingy about me getting out the sword…don’t be so serious, bruh!  Aight?!   Now Chop Chop. (jking!)”

“Why won’t u return my calls?!?!? ”

“I just tagged you on an hysterical video link of a Saudi woman trying to drive.  LMAO!”

“Markster!  I so want 2 make U my bEyAtcH!  again jkg! lol”

“Hit me don’t quite me! 4EAE!!!!!”

“holla!!!”

“A frenemy is not your enemy!!!”

“eating falafel alone in palace…  tear…”

When a member of Abdullah’s inner circle was asked how much the king was offering Zuckerberg for Facebook, the king reportedly raised his right pinky finger to the corner of his lips and announced, “One million dollars.”

This just in:  The Tehran Times reports Abdullah offering Zuckerberg $150 billion and a time share on Umm Lajj Beach.

 

9 Responses to “Saudi King Suddenly Tries To Buy Facebook”

  1. freshrant says:

    Thanks, Harvard Law Blog for giving me the first heads up on why my site is now getting eyeballed by thousands. Appreciate comments and links on your site as well as they relate to this story. Will be interesting to see where this all ends…:)

  2. Hassan says:

    this is really stupid FRESH ANT >>.

  3. freshrant says:

    Duh, like exactly. I mean, why would the old man think he could pay Mark Zuckerburg to be his own personal Tool Fool and buy facebook to try to control freedom of expression in his country. I mean, it’s not as if he’s the King of Saudi Arabia and could just pay off people and buy their loyalty to the prevent Mideast uprisings from expanding to his own personal potentate… what was he thinking?

  4. Ernie Finchman says:

    Thanks for the article post.Thanks Again. Want more.

  5. Maurice Jurgen says:

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  6. says:

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  7. Jessie Brandorff says:

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