freshrant

Exquisitely Baked Satire

Paul Supporter Mistakes Head For Grape



(Lexington, KY)   Rand Paul Bourbon County Coordinator, Tim Profitt, now identified as the man who stomped on the head of female protester, Lauren Valle, has offered a defense for his actions.   “I mistook Valle’s head for an oversized muscadine grape.”

In what Profitt characterized as “a simple case of mistaken identity”, the head stomper said he did “just what comes natural” when he saw the MoveOn.org protester’s head “just lying on the curb all juicy and such.”

“I admit her head is a whole lot bigger than a grape, but during all the noise and excitement that surrounded the arrival of Rand Paul, I just felt like stompin’ the hell out of somethin’, and that little lady’s head was just ripe for the stompin.'”

When Proffit was asked by freshrant what experience he had in the wine industry, he said he had none.  “But I do come from Paris, Kentucky, so you could say stompin’ on anything remotely lookin’ grapelike is gonna make a man like me want to kick some fruit.”

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6 Responses to “Paul Supporter Mistakes Head For Grape”

  1. Tandart says:

    Hi thanks for yet another very good post. Where do you find your inspiration for all this :|? – Reeshof

  2. freshrant says:

    Election time is the silly season that makes for prime pickings for satirical fruit…in this case a head mistaken for a grape…thanks for stopping by…

  3. Bernardina Elwer says:

    Nice post I love the layout of your page by the way.

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