freshrant

Exquisitely Baked Satire

Public Joins Mississippi Governor’s Wife In Horror Of A Barbour Presidency



(freshrant.com)  A number of marches and rallies are being held across the nation, sparked by a remark made by Mississippi’s First Lady, Marsha Barbour, that the thought of her husband running for president “horrifies” her considering all the sacrifices her family would have to make.

Mrs. Barbour’s comment was initially shrugged off as a typical Southern Republican wife throwing a passive aggressive hissy fit to the press for being “too genteel to say it to her husband’s face.”   But as media outlets ran with the interview, Marsha Barbour’s comments struck a chord with large numbers of Americans who sympathized with what a sacrifice a Barbour presidency would be for the nation.

Beverely Dunhill, an organizer of the Denver march that blocked streets and closed down public offices for the day, seemed to speak for many of the nation’s women, “I just get nauseated thinking about a Haley Barbour presidency.  Can you imagine turning on your television set and hearing that mush mouth party hack gobbling away in your living room?  How am I supposed to hide my kids whenever he comes on?”

Mississippi native, Isaiah Jenkins, who had gathered at a prayer vigil in Jackson, Mississippi, said he was opposed to all of Barbour’s big time lobbying for the tobacco companies.   “I’m just praying now for the governor’s soul, and for that of a country that would even consider electing a man making millions pushing those cancer sticks around the world.”

Mark Hammond, also at the vigil, was waving a rebel flag.  He said he was there to pray that Governor Barbour would run for president.  “I like his style,” Hammond said. “He don’t think that whole slavery thing amounted for “diddley”.  And did you hear that joke he told in front of a reporter from the New York Times?  After one of the governor’s aides kept making jokes about “coons”, the governor just told the aid that if he kept making those kinds of comments, he would be reincarnated as a watermelon and placed at the mercy of blacks.”

“My stars and bars, we need a man like that in the White House who understands that blacks should know their place.”

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