freshrant

Exquisitely Baked Satire

Change You Can Make-Believe In



Filed under : Oven Favorites

(Washington)  With a recent CNN poll showing George W. Bush running neck and neck with Barack Obama, the president announced a unilateral work stoppage on all White House business.

“It’s not so much a strike as a vacation,” said a visibly frustrated Obama.  “If Bush could take off a full 2 1/2 years and still get the same numbers as I am busting my butt 18 hours a day, then you tell me who’s all hat and no cattle?”

Seemingly stymied by a public that wants a government to provide jobs but does not want a government to pass any legislation that would provide those jobs, Obama responded to reporters with a folksy, “That dog won’t hunt,” a response eerily reminiscent of something former President Bush might have said.

The Obama’s are reportedly looking for ranch property somewhere in Texas or California where Bush and Ronald Reagan, respectively, maintained their popularity by dragging branches out of gullies and chopping axes into tree stumps.

Obama was recently sighted at an International Harvester dealership validating rumors that he plans to take up tractor pulling as a more publicly pleasing pastime than merely attending to presidential duties.

Many observers regard Obama’s recent moves as more style over substance, including the president’s recent insistence on pronouncing “nuclear” as “nucular”.

But more surprising is Obama’s 180 degree turnaround from past-stated policies.

“If the public hated ObamaCare, they’re gonna love ObamaIran,”  chuckled the Commander-In-Chief.  “I haven’t come up with a reason to attack them yet, but I’m thinkin’ I’m gonna go with ‘we must fight them over there so we can stop them over here’.”

In a statement issued later in the day by the White House, Obama announced he would work to repeal health care,  the minimum wage and would return the Bush policy of allowing banks to issue student loans charging students billions of dollars in fees.

Additionally, Obama announced he would no longer fight the Bush tax cuts for the rich.  “Let the GOP have their way with the poor, the unemployed and the middle class.  I’ve got a tractor to pull,” joked the president, causing all who were gathered around him hoping he would ask them to join him for pizza and beer.

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